We all have at least one person who triggers us. That family member that seems to pluck at your last nerve or the office mate you walk around the outer loop of cubicles just to avoid.
Often, it isn’t the whole person, maybe just one of their traits that irritates you. The sister you love dearly but who constantly identifies you as a control freak or the coworker who ever so subtly takes credit for all of your hard work.
Every time you see them, you know it’s coming. You can feel yourself get flushed with anger, filled with resentment, even before they open their mouths. Over and over you tell yourself you’re not going to put up with it anymore.
When we allow the thoughts and words of others to impact the way we feel about ourselves, we give them power over us. How another person feels and sees the world around them is based on their own filters, their own experiences, blocks, limitations and subconscious beliefs, their own ego. There is nothing we can do to change THEM.
What we can do is step into our own POWER in order to better manage – and perhaps even change our experience of these difficult relationships:
- The Power of Grounding. When you’ve had a long day at work and the kids are screaming for attention, it’s easy to get triggered by a neighbor or spouse who says the wrong thing. Stay in your power by taking some time every day to center, ground, and connect, reducing the likelihood of reacting rather than responding in those situations.
- The Power to Heal. Sometimes, the words and actions of others trigger us because at a deeper level, the words contain elements of truth. Immediately, we become defensive because the truth can be painful. On our path to awareness and enlightenment, these are the moments that matter the most. Step into your power to acknowledge what’s coming up and embrace the pain in order to heal.
- The Power to Choose – On a soul level, we choose the people in our lives in order to live out the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime. As challenging as it sounds, consider viewing these people as someone providing you a service. They are holding a mirror up, showing you the ways in which you can become more enlightened, more aware of your Truth, help you move out of your Ego. We can choose to see or choose to look away.
- The Power to Set Boundaries – Our emotions are our guidance system alerting us when people are invading our space, including our emotional space. Unless we’ve let others know the perimeter of that space – where the boundaries are – we can’t hold them accountable for crossing any lines. Use your power of personal space (both physical and emotional) to set and communicate your boundaries to others.
- The Power of Expectation– Have you considered that people in your life are difficult because you define them that way? Based on history, you may expect the hateful emails or angry responses. You anticipate their disapproving looks or remarks, so they come. Just as in the manifestation of anything in your life, the law of attraction applies here too. In continuing to complain, expect, and focus on the disappointments of these people, you are asking the Universe to give you more of just that. Use your power of expectation to manifest a different experience with them.
- The Power of Intention – Nothing is more powerful than intention. What if we simply intend for a difference experience? Intend for the healing to occur. Intend for those who don’t feed your soul to vibrate right out of your experience!
- The Power to Forgive. These people, these triggers, like you, are perfect, whole and complete expressions of the same God/same Source energy that you are. Their soul is learning lessons just as yours is and they have the same ultimate life purpose – to evolve into the highest version of themselves. They have their own triggers, their own limiting beliefs, their own fears. Use your power of forgiveness to develop a compassion for every human’s path and see how yours changes in the process.
As you heal through these lessons, you will experience them differently. Because we cannot alter the behavior of others, only ourselves, the sister may still make the same comments, your husband may still ignore you when you speak. The difference will be in your reaction to it. It will no longer define you. It will no longer trigger you.
The calm that exists will be your soul’s growth speaking to you.