How Being “Selfish” Can Be Good For You & Others

Too often, we think of being “selfish” as a bad thing. Well, I’m here to tell you to try it anyway. If you find yourself giving so much that you’re depleted, tired, lost or even resentful of those you give to, it may be time for a change. You may need to put yourself first. Read on, healers, givers and caretakers. It’s time to put yourself first and take care of you.

What it Means to Put Yourself First

Now, when I tell you to “be selfish,” I’m not talking about the kind of selfishness where you harm others or ignore their most basic needs to please yourself. Not that kind. 

I’m referring to the kind of “selfishness” that comes with saying “yes” to you. The kind of selfishness where you give yourself permission to make your own needs a priority. Aka, the joy of putting yourself first.

Is it Selfish to Put Yourself First? Why it Feels Like it

If you’re a caretaker or healer like me, you know that we very seldom put ourselves first. Everything is always all about everyone else. We justify our constant giving and healing patterns by calling it “being of service.” 

Don’t get me wrong—being of service to others is a beautiful thing. It’s why I choose to be a healer and give back in my work. I believe it’s the reason we all decided to jump on this “let’s try being a human” train back when our souls were figuring out what to do next. For many of us, it feels natural or even good to prioritize the needs of others ahead of our own.

Why You Need to Make Yourself a Priority

BUT, there’s a fine line here. Being of service to give love and compassion to humanity is one thing. Continuously giving to others because you don’t know how to give to yourself is very much another. Or, maybe you’re always giving to others because you don’t feel worthy of giving to yourself. It can be easy to fall into the quicksand of the ego, where you rely on the thanks and recognition of giving to feel good about yourself. 

What we know is that our experiences are a mirror image of our inner state of being. So, if we’re upset because others aren’t putting us first—take a look at yourself. When do you give to yourself? When do you actually, genuinely put yourself first?

What Happens When You Put Yourself First?

Here are a few good reasons to be “selfish” today:

• A better relationship with yourself yields a better relationship with others. 
• Consistency in caring for self will enhance your own sense of self worth. 
• Self-confidence will grow, allowing you to rely on others less.
• Self-care affects your physical and mental health, which extends your life. This allows you to be present for others longer.
• There’s no better way to serve others than being a role model. Show the people in your life how to embrace and act from a place of self-love. 

How Do You Love Yourself and Put Yourself First?

Some things are easier said than done. But a few small steps can add up to big changes in your feelings of self-worth, self-love and overall enjoyment of life. Try a few of these today, and see how great “being selfish” can feel!

• Don’t be afraid to say No. If you say yes to everyone else, you’re saying no to you. 
• Accept help and even ask for it!
• Every day, find at least 5 minutes of “Me” time. Be still, read a good book, take a walk—whatever brings you peace and reconnects you to self. The key is to make it a practice to give back to yourself.
• Take care of your mind, body and soul! Exercise, eat well and remain in an attitude of gratitude.
• Choose your circle of friends and loved ones wisely. Your time and energy is valuable. Spend it with those who respect you and lift you up. Find your tribe. 
• Spoil yourself! Do something you love! Take a class. Get those new shoes. Go out dancing. Whatever it is, make it a priority.

Keep in mind, this may just be the start of your healing journey. But you’re not alone in it! As a Spiritual Coach, Evidential Medium and Energy Healer, I work primarily through my intuitive and clairsentient (feeling/sensing) abilities to facilitate healing and transformation in others. I offer spiritual readings, mediumship readings and energy healings, but most of all I love to work with clients in ongoing coaching programs. If you’re ready to start your spiritual journey, I can tailor a program to fit your needs. Awaken your limitless self, awaken your intuition, and deepen your connection to spirit. Click here to learn more about my programs.